Skottustelpa, The Continuing Saga

Skottustelpa, The Continuing Saga
Welcome to Skottustelpa's page of fun and games. Skottustelpa is amazing, beautiful and incredibly talented. Everyone loves Skottustelpa. Go, Skottustelpa, go!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Do you know Sha Na Na?

I just discovered Flip Wilson. Not too many clips with Flip Wilson but they are worth going through. Child of it's time.
This is not the funniest one but a good example.

And then I found Mr. Bunny!
Old stuff, but still ...

Labels: Of fun and games

posted by Skotta | 5:44 AM |

Okay, here's what's happening.
I woke up this morning and my back hurt badly.
As it was day 3 of Minilla with fever, I decided to take some pain killers to be able to attend to the boy today.
I can't take all painkillers but a good combo of something simple has been reccomended for back pain so I took that. Pinex and Ibuprofen, a small dosis.

Well, I guess it is clear to me now that I can't take Panodil, Pinex or such.
I got a migraine that could have killed an elephant.
Had to take Relpax.
Got a reaction that could have killed 10 elephants.

Attending to a Minilla with fever, or trying to, when you have a ten elephant headache and nausea gets you pretty exhausted.

Of course, being the mad woman I am, with my special Disease of More, and in the honor of another mad woman I know (who showed up bleeding from the head after her man had given her a good beating to do a radiointerwiew on alcoholism and co-dependency), I put a mascara on and my best outfit and went to see the good doctor.
I had an appointment I couldn't miss.

Afterwards, I figured, I might have walked out of there with the right prescription if I had explained that I do get migraines a lot and that I in fact had one sitting there in front of the good doctor. When you actually sit there with a migraine (wich, as it manifests itself in me, main symptom is impaired judgement), you go "No, no, I hardly ever get migraines" because you are remembering that period of your life when you had them constantly for 9 months.

What can I say?
It was my first visit with this doctor, I haven't been since I moved to the hood, and I wanted to make a good impression.
At least I managed to find out that Minilla doesn't have pneumonia.

Then AB came home and I passed out.
Woke up to eat dinner.
Passed out again.

Then Minilla wakes us up at 2 am caughing.
We discover diaper leakage.
Minilla is pulled up from wet spot in his own bed and into our bed.

Now I have a kicking boy and a snoring man keeping me awake.
And that leads to:
Me and YouTube on the sofa.

Anywho.
I am a big fan of Johnny Cash. Praise to the woman who got me hooked.
I have to say though, I don't think he nailed the hottest sister.
Anita was the hot one. The other two were drags.
And how corny were those sisters?
I guess June was the funny one, but man, did she have many teeth!
I haven't seen the movie, so what do I know.
But Johnny was the man.

Labels: News from the home front, Of fun and games

posted by Skotta | 4:16 AM |

I am madly in love with YouTube.
Here's something.

Pete Seeger Pete Seeger, a folk singer, political activist, communist, and author, had a show on TV called the Rainbow Quest.
You might know him to be the man who wrote songs like "Where Have All the Flowers Gone" and "We Shall Overcome".
Well, the Rainbow Quest, 38 hour long shows, had guests like
Bernice Johnson Reagon, Elizabeth Cotten, and Missisippi John Hurt.
And Johnny Cash.

Here's young Bernice, today Dr. Bernice.

One of my favorites is a video where Pete tells the story of Abiyoyo

I urge especially Sveimhugi to check this man and this material out.
And of course all the fun stuff with the Johnny Cash and the Carter Family ...

Oh yeah, and Pete wrote this too

Labels: Of fun and games

posted by Skotta | 3:27 AM |

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

I hate chain letters.

Hate them, hate them, hate them.
I delete them immediately as I have given up on replying to the sender, asking them not to send me these kind of letters ever again.

I get angels, jokes, and promises of good will and surprises from loved ones or strangers, there are Dalai Lama wisdoms to be shared, money to be earned, and of course petitions and threats.

Delete them unread.
Never ever pass such mail on to others.

This is why it surprised me that I did't break a chain letter from My Girl in NY. Maybe because she never ever sends me stuff like this so I thought it had to be special.
It's not.
It's just mailing a recipe to one of two names on a list and then passing it on to twenty people.
Not 5 friends, twenty.

But it was fun to do, because of two things:

1) I realized how many people have actually fed me at one point or another and
2) I got to write this totally unambitious recipe down and mail it to someone

Of course I am sharing with you:

Hi Tony!

I'm Skotta, My Girl in NY's friend from Iceland. I make oatmeal porridge every morning at 7 am for my boy Minilla who is 1 1/2 yrs old.

Here's the recipie:

1 cup water
1 cup oatmeal
1/2 apple (this time of year we get it straight from the apple tree we have in our garden)
1/2 cup milk, and cinnamon, salt and honey ad lib. if your kidneys, allergies or whatever can handle it.

Place box of oatmeal far away from 1 1/2 year old.
The apple is coarsely grated and thrown in when the porridge starts boiling.
Boil until it's thick enough for it not to fall too easily from a spoon held by a 1 1/2 year old. It has to make it the distance from the plate to the mouth, aproximetly the lenght of an arm size 18 months.
Rule of thumb, salt little by little, and taste it before adding more salt, or your 7 am effort will not be eaten.

All the best,
Skotta

Labels: recipe

posted by Skotta | 8:36 PM |

Monday, October 22, 2007

Little Housewife Me.
Little Mother Me.

I have been very busy.
We have an apple tree.
If you have an apple tree, you have, well ... apples.
Loads of them.

I made apple jam the other day and it was really really really good.
It turns out I have some kind of wonder apples that, when ripe, are perfect for just about anything. They are great for cakes, they are great for jams, they are great for juice. If you fry them on a pan they have delicious taste and don't loose their shape.
Okay.
Perfect apples.

Today, I wanted to make a variation on my apple jam. I decided to make a christmasy kind of spicy apple jam/chutney.
Man, this smelled delicious.
Until it burned.

What else have I been doing?

Oh, yes, I have been sowing.
Supernanny told me today that Minilla's mittens had to hanve an elastic string. Last time she told me they had to have a string so they didn't get lost, now the string has to be elastic.

I don't have any elastic string.
And my boy isn't going out to play without mittens.
I had a short kind of fabric elastic with button holes in both ends.
So, I sowed buttons on his mittens and buttons on his jacket.
Now his mittens are buttoned on.
I hope she buys this.
At least none of the other parents will take his buttoned mittens home with them by mistake.

Labels: Buttoned mittens

posted by Skotta | 8:43 PM |

Am bracing myself for November.

It turns out my nanny is sick and is kinda hanging in there until the kids can get another placement. I have had Minilla home as much as possible to spare the nanny but now, as November is closing in on us, she is getting weaker and there will possibly be a gap between the date she gives in and the date he starts at the new day care.

There are 3 nannies taking care of 8 children in a house that is made to look like somebodys home. Well, as much as physically possible. Not many homes house 8 toddlers.
Minilla starts on the 26th.
I start working on the 1st.
Nanny goes on sick leave ...?
Both her union and her doctor have told her to stop working.

I'm not sure what to think of this.
Normally I'd say: "Go on sick leave you mad woman, before something bad happens to my kid."
Instead I'm going, darn, I hope she hangs in there until the 8th, when I can possibly get a back-up for her.

Until then, Minilla is getting to know the new member of the new care taker team (from now on called the Afternoon Pick Up Club)
(no, that sounded all wrong, I'll get back to you in a minute on this one).

You see, a mother is a wonderful thing.
To cover her functions in the home it takes four people.
Of wich we have three for now.

There is the father, who now is responsible for delivering Minilla to day care, the grandmother, who picks him up twice a week, and the other pick up person, who picks him up three times a week.

Oh, and the 4th person would be a cleaning lady who does the laundry too, but we don't have that.
I am betting that we have an au pair within a year.

Anywho.

The third pick up person, a beautiful, very grounded 22 year old student of the great art of paedagogy, is coming over in a few minutes. She is to get to know the boy so he won't freak out having a stranger pick him up 3 times a week from November 1st. Lets call her Team Member 3.
TM3 for short.

Me having a job is altogether an expensive affair.
On top of a new garderobe I am now having to pay for transport (too far to bike to work, I'm afraid, darn) and for TM3 coming in three times a week.
Frankly, I'm not earning enough to cover this and the nanny too.
I'm going to work anyway.

Have to start somewhere if you want to get anywhere.

Decided to put a photo of a business woman here but found out that they are crap and 90% of them show brunettes.

Am putting Blondie in here instead. She kicks ass and this is one of my favorite albums.

Labels: News from the home front

posted by Skotta | 2:11 PM |

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Cleaning house.

No, really.
Cleaning house.

I am making myself a bedroom.
I went through all my clothes and threw out a lot.
I admit to keeping a couple of items for sentimental reasons.
Most of them being hot chick tee-shirts from my cool thin girl period, many bought in New York.

I had the most fun going through my underwear.
AB also had a lot of fun because I felt the urge to try a lot of the stuff on.
You see, I have missed my underwear.

This sounds like a very erotic happening but it wasn't, really.
The thing is, my stuff is still in boxes.
Now I just have fewer boxes.
And this summer, my mom gave my a lot of underwear that I love for the comfort. The girls know what I am talking about. Granny pants that are big and unsexy, perfect for the time when you have your period. White cotton, all the way to the waist.
I have had nothing but these panties to wear since everything normal is in boxes.

Hence, AB having a lot of fun seing me wearing normal girl stuff.

I have a few weaknesses, a few triggers that can make me shop amok.
One being shoes, another books (ever been to Barnes & Nobles or Strand in NY?), then there is underwear. I also have a weakness for CD's.

Having bought a house I am totally keeping my shop amok tendencies at bay.
I just don't go to town.
(Last shopping trip was unavoidable, job related and tax deductable).

Opening my box of underwear after not seeing it for over 6 months is therefor a reason to blog.

Labels: News from the home front

posted by Skotta | 11:59 PM |

Monday, October 15, 2007

Can't help myself, being an immigrant in this country I had to report on these news:

According to Politiken (see link above), Denmark is rated to be one of the worst European countries to immegrate.
It is placed number 21 of 28 countries.
Neighbouring countries in Scandinavia all rank within the top ten.

Needless to say there are concequences to behaving like this countrie does towards both legal immigrants and people seeking political asylum in this country.
The article names a further damaged image which can be a problem when trying to get qualified people to work in this country.
That is not even the biggest problem. Think of all the growth the country is missing out on by not opening op for the people already here.
Says the immigrant with 6 years of university education, from 3 different countries, that is worth toiletpaper in Denmark.

I don't really think the Danes give a shit about what the rest of the world thinks about their immigration laws. I don't think the Danes really care about other people than Danes, in or out of Denmark.
What gets me is that this society keeps hammering on the fact that it is built on sociodemocratic values. Most will though admit that the pure socialism which got this countrie famous, is officially dead.

Labels: Local news

posted by Skotta | 1:49 PM |

We are all tired.
Sore throats, stuffed noses, headaches and tiredness.

Some are just tired, others grumpy, unpolitely, taking it out on the others tired.
Not naming any names but it's not me, it's AB.

There seems to be a general depression around me these days.
Have no fear.
Things always pick up.
My friends and family will be all smiles soon again.

My biggest feat will be finding a person to pick up Minilla three times a week from the nanny. I hope I get a sane and stable person who likes kids.

If you know anyone who lives in Copenhagen, young or old, who would like to pick up Minilla up to 3 times a week, and spend an hour with him until I come home from work, please let me know.

Labels: News from the home front

posted by Skotta | 1:26 PM |

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Yours truly is no longer unemployed.

Unfortunately, my job probably requires me to be even more discreet on this page.
At least I am not sharing my political wiews anymore (well, you have been spared that for a while).
I can tell you fun stuff, like that AB brought Minilla a t-shirt from Hollywood that read American Psycho and had a picture of Bush.
AB brought me loads of cool stuff.
That, and all the clothes I had to buy due to my sudden change of profession, makes my warderobe quite schitzoid.

I now have 4 pares of new shoes (two pairs conservative high heeled ones, two Brit-punk with chains and sculls), two very conservative blouses, a very red coat, two gray skirts, a couple of wool turtlenecks in brown and off-white, a Sesame Street tee, Rolling Stones tounge tee, Superwoman tee, and a pair of conservative black pants.

Now guess who my employer is.

Labels: News from the home front

posted by Skotta | 9:15 PM |

Sunday, October 07, 2007

It is past midnight, my curfiew.

Sometimes during the day a post runs through my head.
Or a post title.

Like this one, from today:
I know why humans kill their young.

Minilla, son of Godzilla.
My monster child, just being himself.
And today I just wanted to smack him against the wall.
Anyone who has spent three days in the company of a toddler will understand this feeling.

Here's a cenario:
I don't want to walk and I don't want to sit in my trolley. I want mommy to carry me. I scream. I make my body all stiff and scream and cry. Then my stiff body glides down to the ground and there I become totally limp.

A classic.

My son is a born nudist.
He is also a person who doesn't like being indoors.
I now know that nudist resorts are created by people like him.
His Utopia is a place where he can run freely outdoors, completely naked.
Play fireman, peeing into open air.
Ever since he was born he has sensed impending death when an effort was made to dress him.
A diaper is his worst enemy.
He runs if he spots me coming with a diaper and shouts "NO, NO!!"

This has been hard for the mother, yet never as hard as now.
He is bigger and stronger.
We are talking about a baby who lifts stones bigger than his head and walks around with them.
For fun.

Now picture this big child putting up a fight, kicking and screaming, wriggling body, punching out. He gives a hard blow. I know, because I'm the one getting them.
His current favorite is the "sitting on mothers lap and punching her in the face by throwing arms up backwards".
When I finally get his strong little arms into the sleves of his blouse I am sweating like a pig, on top of having been on the receiving end of several blows to the face.
This routine we go through several times a day.
I have considered just letting the child eat, sleep, and play in the same set of pajamas.
I would if I didn't the nanny would tell the authorities.

I am so very happy that AB is coming home in a couple of days.

Labels: My monster child

posted by Skotta | 12:02 AM |

Saturday, October 06, 2007

More news?
You eager beavers!

Sure, I'll tell you what's up.
I might as well while I wait for YouTube to post the stuff I want it to post here.

AB is still in Hollywood getting famous.
Discussing work that means relocation for the little family.
Yes, hold your breath, back to America.

Not happening any day soon, just a sketch on the drawing board and not this year unless Hollywood makes an offer our little family can't refuse. Not bloody likely. Just letting you know that life in the movie world can cause some exitement in the little house in rural Denmark.
I wonder if I could be a Hollywood housewife?
Does this look good on a CV?
My CV being the other major thing causing excitement in my life. (as you can read, I have all the wrong excitement in my life, good thing my man will be back home soon).

Speaking of witch, I would have sex with this band:

Of course my answer to AB when he told me of this possibility was: "Of course honey, anything you want, since I don't have a carrieer anyway and plan on doing nothing other than wash your tee-shirts for the rest of my grown up life."
Well, didn't say it that way, but was supportive.
You get my drift.

The jobsearch is still going strong and I had to invest in a cardigan and shoes today for my second interwiew for a post with the Icelandic Foreign Services.
I have to be there Tuesday, which means asking permission not to attend the mandated course on "How to apply for jobs", curtesy of the Copenhagen City unemployment center.
I'm sure they'll understand.

I also have to call a woman about a Project Manager position which scares the shit out of me, to say it like it is.
I wrote her a short note, using the word expert in my letter, and she wrote me right back telling me she'd like a moment of my busy schedule next week.

And last, but not least.
Kudos to the homegirl who announced that she'd babysit for me today so I could buy shoes.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Not only meditating on high heels, now I can sleep in them.

Labels: News from the home front, The people I love

posted by Skotta | 10:47 PM |

Okay, here's what happens when ones man runs off to Hollywood.

Girlie movies.
Let's start with Drew Barrymore, the Queen of Cuteness, and Hugh Grant, the King of Corny.
This video tells all:

Hilarious.
And Hugh Grant can't sing for shit.
Neither does Drew but at least she sings cute.
He is just bad. Funny bad.

The other movie I rented was the one about the girls switching houses.
Vacation something with Cameron Diaz (who lost her acting talent, if she ever had one), Jude Law (never had one), Kate Winslet (has talent, uses it rarely, same in every role), and Jack Black (not not funny, nor charming, can do nothing with a leading lady who in spite of her talent is obviously embarrassed just sitting next to him).
Entertaining but sadly just too much of bad acting in one place so the winner of the evening was definely the one with the never ending "lets make fun of the eighties" humor. Hugh's studded leather jacket did something for me.
(not bothering with names of these films, the titles are translated to Danish so I forget the original title. not great film art there dudes, so I'm not using brain space for it).

Labels: Movies

posted by Skotta | 10:18 PM |

Monday, October 01, 2007

Spent the morning in the company of my homegirl.
We hung out windowshopping, she frequently commenting "I'll buy this Saturday" wich made us both feel like we could afford shopping.
I looked like your average hillbilly wich made me feel like one of those eccentric rich artists types who have so much money they don't give a shit what they wear.
This is my favorite gear.
Preferably stepping out of a taxi, wearing my skirt over my pajamapants, my stuff in a plastic bag advertising your local supermarket.

Being raised in the country of Bjork one believes one can get away with such behaviour without being thought of as a drunk who just got his monthly check and is now stepping out of a taxi with all his belongings in a plastic bag, to go buy beer and cigarettes.

Anyways, so, looking like a hillbilly, me and my homegirl went for coffee and our pick was this terriblie trendy expresso machine store and café in the city center.
There we invested in the most expensive lattes I have ever come accross. We did because we thought this price meant that the latte provided an orgasm.
It came close.
The free glossy mag you could read while waiting for your diamond priced latte turned out to be an ad for the company and revealed that it actually was Nestle.
Nestle we associate with childhood memories of chockolate milk pulver in a yellow box with a rabbit on it.
And baby food.

Not quite a orgasm, not even a Harry met Sally orgasm (which was considered, if only for the cameras watching us drinking our coffee).
Not a dissapointment either.
The morning was an alltogether pleasurable experience due to the wonderful company.

More.
Finally Joost.

I don't know if you know this but here in Denmark you have to pay something called "Media Licence" to the state run television network.

It's like this in socio-democraticly run countries. You used to pay licence if you had a TV. Now, because you can access some selected TV broadcasts on the internet, they want you to pay.
If we all were to practice this, I would then for example be able to charge the state run TV station for their access to my blog. Don't care if they read it or not, they access the device that can access my blog, so they should pay me licence.

I know, it's absurd.
Reality, nevertheless.

I don't have a TV, and haven't had one for years, but all of a sudden I have to pay for TV I don't watch because I have a computer.

This is why people like me adore business men like the ones who stand behind Joost, who happen to be the infant terrible guys behind Skype. I urge you to support this initiative and visit the page if you haven't already. It's basically free internet TV.

And now, for the sadder things.
Louise Maxwell passed away. For those of you who are not aware of who this woman is, meet her as Miss Moneypenny, M's secretary (you know guys, from the James Bond films!):