Welcome to Skottustelpa's page of fun and games. Skottustelpa is amazing, beautiful and incredibly talented. Everyone loves Skottustelpa. Go, Skottustelpa, go!
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| Skottustelpa, The Continuing Saga Welcome to Skottustelpa's page of fun and games. Skottustelpa is amazing, beautiful and incredibly talented. Everyone loves Skottustelpa. Go, Skottustelpa, go! |
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Tuesday, November 30, 2004  You are an OOMPA LOOMPA! You are the most evil and foul being to walk this earth. Get therapy! And stay away from my family! Monkey? Pizza? Death? Oompa Loompa? brought to you by Quizilla posted by Skotta | 6:21 PM | Birthday was kida poor. I had slept 3 hours the night before so I took a nap. Beautiful boyfriend woke me up to eat sushi with him, after he had decorated the apartment with candlelights and Danish flags. It was lovely, but by the time we ate, he had spent a while on the internet and was tired after dinner. So I woke up, ate sushi, slept again. I would feel guilty if it was not for the fact that when I celebrated my 2nd b-day on the 13th (I have 2 a year), he was in a coma. We don't seem to be good with special occations. At the moment we can't seem to socialize properly either. Last two parties we went to, my boyfriend fell asleep. The 40th b-party we just left (I would have totally sent him home and partied on if I had known anyone there). Thanksgiving was spent at my dear 2nd mothers house, and her other guest was totally cool about the loud snoring. We talked until midnight (uh, those of os concious) and got to take left-overs home. (2nd mom, I know you are reading this, remind me to bring you your Tupperware and give you the money I owe you for the scarf!) We are therefor looking forward to the holidays. Yip, we have booked, both the tickets to Iceland, and the 4WD that will be waiting for us at the airport. Boyfriend is closing his firm from the 22nd, so we are looking forward to 2 weeks of R&R. For those of you in Iceland, looking forward to seeing me, I am home from the 26th and will leave again January 3rd. January 1st is f.x. not booked, when boyfriend is going to be taking some popstar to sweat (sweat=dancing Indian and hyperventilating in a tent with other sweaters, whole event run by a gay couple, extremely popular with sober alcoholics, actors and artsy tourists). I'm a lady, I don't sweat or fart. I am enjoying my latest playlist. I have now copied all my favorite CD's into the computer and can now DJ all I want. This computer has a killer sound system, unlike my laptop that has none at all, so I am totally embracing all my moods, my past swings, my flavor for the extreme. I have great taste in music and an amazing CD collection. Call me an idiot, but I still buy CD's. I know too many starving musicians to have the heart to steal music. Even thoug I have to admit, I am not buying the music of starving musicians, as there too often is a good reason for their hunger. I was a good girl today. I took some clothes to the Red Cross. When I looked up Charity with google image search, I got a porn star. I don't know how I got to this site, but I always try to link you guys to whatever interesting thing I find. posted by Skotta | 1:48 PM | Monday, November 29, 2004 Now that someone has said hi to the Belja: 
Kudos to Kohlsaat. Yip. Last day of work. Lovely. It was hilarious in many ways. The kids were great, we took them to the Experimentarium for the day. The Experimentarium is one of my favorite museums. I love taking kids there. Among other things you can blow bubbles, any size or shape. It's got those eliments that I have always loved - like the permission to push any button I see. You can start an indoors geysir, you can play with a green screen. I love it there. I love this group of kids, and I am going to miss them. Not the least the little one who calls: "Hey, Iceland! Come over here!" I have a strong connection with each and everyone of them. Like an old teacher who has tought the same class for 10 years, I know all their quirks, their moods, and how to get them in and out of them. This group of kids eats out of the palm of my hand. And when I visit, they are all going to be indiferent to me being there. That is how it is supposed to be, and that is the beauty of life. We move on. The thought of them makes me smile. They are the naughtiest bunch of brain damaged worms I have ever met. There is my small little girl who got the lollie stuck in her throat. She is very determined, some might call it stubborn. She doesn't make a sound when she cries and she loves opening and closing doors. There is my hyper loveliness, who's loudness tries to control the world. He will one day be sharp as a knife, but now tests his luck with colorful stories like: I am going to the city center after scool today. I am buying myself a birthday present. Yeah, I am going alone. My mom lent me her credit card. There is my girl who loves horses. She throws fits of anger, and cries loudly, but can easily forget about them if you sing about the cat that dances Tango. There is my big girl who slams the doors but only when afraid of loud noises or presented with an outing with the rest of the worms. She loves playing the guitar, even if it's a teaspoon. There is my big girl with the bad mouth, who loves singing. She calls me Shower head and is sweet on a boy called Philip. She is forever the sunshine, although we know that when she comes home she turns herself off and becomes numb in front of Cartoon Network. There is my little girl who constantly has pillow hair. She runs fast with her little hunch back, and she pinches the boys when they don't do what she says. She laughs loudly when they get scolded. There is my always smiling little boy with the ticks and the small heart. He often gets frightened but is easily comforted. He loves the blue car on the play ground. And there is my little thin shit, who calls me Iceland, and wants me to take him there more than anything in the world. "I don't live there anymore, I stay with my mom when I am there!" say I when he asks me. "Hey, that's no problem, I'll ask my mom, and you ask yours!" My last job at work was writing a report to send to the officials because his mom has started drinking again. They say that he will be removed from the home this time. Not really a nice goodbye, while I have to live in the faith that it is for the best. I wrote myself a letter of reccommendation, for my boss to sign. Experience tells me that if I don't write it myself, I won't get any. I described my beautifully. Oh, well. I am going to celebrate and have a happy birthday with my boyfriend. I baked cake last night. All Danish, I woke up before dawn to bring a slice of this cake to my boyfriends bedside, with the b-day present. Reminded him that this is a Danish custom only and I will kill him if he wakes me up that early on my birthday. Oh, yeah, and one last thing. Got a letter from the Ministry of Education. They say I have an equivalent to something called a Kandidat education. I knew that, but hell, it will be nice to tell the Danes when applying for jobs. In 5 yrs time, I will have the letters Cand. Psych. and MPS behind my name. Cool. posted by Skotta | 5:42 PM | Tuesday, November 23, 2004 Never thought I'd catch myself writitng this, but it is damn hard finding a good portrait of a cow. But I did. 
This happens to be an Icelandic cow. Say hi to Belja. I was not going to blog about cows, but about cow piss. Yip, cow piss. Copenhagen smells of ammonia these days, and it is because they are using a new brand of salt on the streets. As all know, who have lived in countries where it frequently snows (at least in winter), salt is used to melt the ice on the streets and pavements. The new brand Copenhagen City is using, has cow piss. And man, does it stink! If you are one of the people who take the bus to work, and if you are unlucky enough to have to change busses, you risk standing outside, smelling the ammonia quite intensely. This has added some flair to my otherwise insane last week at work. 3 days left, then weekend, then one. I am saying goodbye to a lot of good friends at work, and kids that I absoloutly adore. I am now being able to see, that there are sides of my job, that I won't miss. Like writing papers that will probably get my little Fetal Alcohol Syndrom boy removed from his Once-again-drinking Bad-excuse-for-a-mother. I have no pity, I'm sorry. I am starting to realize why they remove the kids from their mothers. This kid, who otherwise loves his mother with all his heart, is so neglected by her by now, that he is telling us openly that she is drinking again. No more hiding, the kid is screaming for help. Oh, well. There are other things making me happy I am leaving my job, but I can't be bothered getting into it now. I'd much rather talk about piss again. This time about another thing one frequently sees in Copenhagen. My closest friends and family know this about me already, but now the world will get to know: I despise men who pee in public. Despise, in lack of a more expressive word. Nothing can describe my disgust when confronted with men peeing in public. I Copenhagen, beer drinking starts early in the day. This means, that already around noon, one can see males, most often the Danish working class, peeing in public. And Danish men, although the ones I know personally deny doing this, do not hesitate to pull their privates out in public and pee up against the nearest thing they find. I'd love to call it the Viking blood, but I am afraid it is just lack of tact and class, and this peeing in public has no boundaries whatsoever. Temperature below zero, the pouring rain, the stinking hot summer, - nothing stops Danish men. Danish women have no problem in this area, nor have I heard a Danish woman complain about the men pissing. I remember locking my bike one summer night, only to hear the sound of peeing by my head as I bent down. The guy allmost got my shoe. Dogs. Not that I dislike penises. Nothing against them. I am just so tired of seeing all those wrinkled willies below beer bellys, or the steam from the warm piss in the yellow pools they melt in the snow. I am just one of those girls who like to pick which willies are waved in my face. And they love doing it in groups! Call me boring, but one at a time is plenty for me, and I get enough at home. Not only do they go peeing together, but today I saw something that I would love to say I saw for the first time. I am walking to the bus stop in broad daylight: A guy stands in the freezing cold peeing up against a bush in a parking lot. This bush seperates the parking lot from a large traffic street, and it being November, the bush has no leaves. Another guy walks by, - hey, guy peeing! - so he joins in. Now the two of them stand there, in the blazing wind, the coldest day of the year yet, peeing against the naked bush. Their dicks wawing to the traffic through the steam. Guy #1 moves a bit so piss from guy #2 doesn't blow all over him. They exchange awkward jokes, as they are complete strangers, but for a moment in time, they bonded. Guy #2 gives a little wave after zipping up and skips away. Nothing against male bonding. A little bit bothered by dicks out in the free. 
Found this photo when typing in Weird on Google. This is what I found when typing in a man pissing. posted by Skotta | 9:23 PM | Saturday, November 20, 2004 
The man whom I gave a chocolate christmas calender, is now asleep. Needless to say, I am bored. It is Saturday eve, and somehow I feel I should be doing something else than blogging. But that's not why I am blogging. No, I am blogging because I put a picture of Condolessa Rice on my web-page, and I need to blog if I want it off my screen. I have had an amazing day ... with my future mother-in-law. Not kidding. I have the most amazing future mother-in-law. She is one of the funniest, sweetest, women I have met. I feel blessed. We spent the day eating, and chatting, and drinking tea, and nurturing the soar back of her spoild brat son (aka. My Amazing Boyfriend). Among other incredable feats, we spent over 2 hours boiling water in large pots and kettles, and carrying it into the bathroom. His lordship was to have a lavender-bath. While my and my future mother-in-law carried water, his lordship slept, snoring loudly. Anyone copy a resentment here? He is not supposed to be asleep now. He slept through the whole day!!!! I was a good girl and I carried water. Now I want my prize. To put things in a different light here (not that he isn't spoiled ...): This week has been marked by my AB's back being hurt. We don't know what happened, but we think it might be due to a stunt with a 25 kilo camera. He has not been able to sit or bend for a week. He has to walk around while eating, and I have had to tie his shoe laces. Helping size 45 feet put socks on, is more tricky than I imagined. Anything he drops on the floor just lies there. The apartment looks like it's been bombed. Massive amounts of pain killers have been consumed (although of course, nothing inducing altered states of consciusness). We visited his mother because she has a bathtub and we thought it would help his back. And then the hot water failed. And then we decided to boil some. And then we realized that a bathtub takes many, many, liters of water. Over 2 hours of liters of water. And now I will revenge and eat his December 24th. posted by Skotta | 10:33 PM | Wednesday, November 17, 2004 
My condolences. As they say on the web-site ... Run, Condi Run! posted by Skotta | 9:23 PM | Tuesday, November 16, 2004 Nothing saves a shitty day like a nice surprise. I have had a very very shitty day. At work, of course. On my way home I wondered if I should go straight to bed. Well, I also bought a chockolate chip cookie. And then, when I came home, a message was waiting for me from one of my most favorite people in the world. He happens to be in the country for a day, and has tree hours to spare this evening. I can't wait to meet up, get news of his wife and kids, and I am hoping he has some pictures of them in his wallet. My Amazing Boyfriend always laughs at the fact that when I am sad, it doesn't take much to make me happy. He calles it the "rattle, rattle, rattle" effect. I am eternaly grateful for having this ability to be happy, to see the positive, even in the darkest of hours. The rattle effect has saved my mental health on many dramatic occations (the most famous one being the "Spot on the brain" episode). I am also unbelievably fortunate with friends and family, who sometimes totally pull through when I have days like today, when I just feel that my (work) life should not be happening, and that I would like to visit somebody elses. Anyways. AB is home. Bye. posted by Skotta | 5:03 PM | Saturday, November 13, 2004 I know this is silly, but I have to blog about it: An Icelandic investment group had bought Magasin du Nord. To most of you this is no news. To me, this is really funny . Magasin du Nord is a Danish chain of department stores. On an American scale, it equals Dominican ownership of Bloomingdales. Magasin is just in the hearts of Danes, as a very, very posh place to shop, and it has been there for ages. It has not changed much since they opened in 1868. I love the escalators in there, they are really scary and antique. Magasin has recently been bought by another big department store, a more modern one (with an equally scary glass elevator), called Illum. Magasin is very expensive, so is Illum. According to tonight's TV news, the Danes seem to visit Magasin a lot, but they just don't buy anything. So the department stores have been doing really badly, and they have been looking for investors for 5 years now. And today, the Icelandic guy who owns Domino's Pizza in Iceland and Denmark, Baugur Group (Icelandic guys who have invested money all over the place and have a bunch of stores in the UK), and an Icelandic bank, bought 69% of the Danish Bloomingdales. I think we just won a battle that has been going on for thousands and thousands of years. You see, first they stole all our church bells, and melted them into ammunition for their cannons ... posted by Skotta | 3:36 AM | Thursday, November 11, 2004 I am listening to Viva Forever (Spice Girls) and remembering my good friend Hypnotoad. And now AC/DC is playing Love at First Feel, so I am thinking of something else. So is life. Today I was asked to write a advertisement to advertise my own job! Not to often that this happens to me. For those who don't know, I got offered a job at the place I am working, and I said no thanks. I will start at a new job December 1st. I am too busy to look forward to the new job. Among other things I am busy training other people to take over. This is not a small task, as all of you know, I am fabulous and really the best employee they have ever had. What do have the energy to look forward to is going to America in January. New York, here I come. I have a date with an Asian-American boy with an Irish name. Uh, I hope they call it Asian-American, I seem to recall something different. Well. A friend of mine requested some deeper issues addressed on my site. Tired of the general news, she wanted some of my thoughts and opinions on things. Hmmm. I think I might be shallowing. I just haven't had the energy to go into what is happening in the world, or in me. The spare brain space I have left, after work, I use to have fun and smile a lot. I am hoping that I will have more energy after I start my new job. It will only take me 10 minutes to go to work. I have calculated that I will get 6 hours and 40 minutes a week for fun and games, time which I today use to sit on buses or stand and wait for them. Now, I can't promise you that these 6 hours and 40 minutes will be used for blogging brilliant thoughts. Here is what I intend to do in my extra time: Sleep Sleep Sleep Clean my apartment Do laundry Paint Scan my drawings Get my drawings printed on T-shirts Sell my drawings on T-shirts Start a business Run therapy groups Travel Mmmm ... travel. Planned destinations in the winter 2004 and in the year of 2005: Iceland in December (it was either New Yrs in Paris or in Reykjavik .. what can I say, I'm a big fan of Reykjavik) New York in January Cannes Film Festival in May (oh yeah!) Bornholm for 2 weeks in September (Bornholm is Denmarks "The Hamptons") So, no, I'm sorry, no brainstorms this week. Just countless fun things on my calender. Again. posted by Skotta | 9:56 PM | Friday, November 05, 2004 Two heads are better than one
posted by Skotta | 8:50 PM | I am home alone. I am using this evening to be myself. Definition of being myself: Lets get down and dirty with a DVD and a discusting amount of food and candy. So, my binging tonight included: Going to Matas and buying loads of conditioner, some toothbrushes (my dentist told me I should get a new toothbrush every month, now I have a fetish), lice shampoo, body soap and mosturizer. No, I don't have lice. Yes, I am paranoid. Getting two girlie DVD's at Blockbuster; 50 First Dates and Along Came Polly with 1 1/2 liter cola. Buing som pakoras and bulgur with amazing tzatiki (for only dkr 35) @ Kazims Kitchen. Dropping by the candy store and picking out all my favorites. Needless to say, I have now succesfully disgusted myself. 1-0 for Lack of Dicipline. Every once in a while, I feel like I've been a good girl for so long that I have to binge. Being perfect is such a hard job. I get so exhausted working at it. But hey, who's fretting? Not me. I'm cool with it, have burped my coke and will be ready to pick at the candy again in a minute. Like, when I watch the Polly film. Just to give a quick rewiew on the 50 dates movie: It sucks. Don't watch it. Oh, yeah, of course I have news!!! I went to see the concert of the Danish Radiohead band called Kashmir. They totally kicked ass. I am looking forward to their next album and eating ice cream with their lead singer. Yup, once you get that back stage pass, things just get a little bit cooler. Hehehehe, no, but really. Stay on the lookout for their next album. They played a number of it and it was catchy and allmost original. Damn, I'm awful. How can I express that I respect these guys although recognizing their music from another band? I do respect anyone who is doing anything at all basically, in the light of me not being able to get off my arse with my drawings. What is more impressive, putting your stuff out there, or sitting on a mountain of it? These guys are really good musicians, and sweet, sweet people ... Sorry, I did it again ... They really gave an amazing show last night, not the least with the help of a really, really great young kid that did their lights ... with a little inspiration from my friends. The music was good too. I know all the songs ... both from their albums and Radiohead's ... This is it. I give up. I had a great time and met some sweet people. Best part was that I had an amazing time with my Amazing Boyfriend. We don't seem to be getting any unhappier. I told him he is not to hold girls around the waist and look them deep in the eyes, even though he is in the rock and roll business now. He is only allowed to compliment girls on their brain power. But he is to tell me I'm beautiful at all times, hold me around the waist and look deep into my eyes. He was cool with that. I had a feeling though, that he found me rather silly. He flew to Helsinki this morning. The traveling Wilbury, that's my man. What did I do this morning? Well, I visited what might be my workplace from December 1st. More on that later, if it happens. posted by Skotta | 7:50 PM | Thursday, November 04, 2004 I had a long discussion this evening with Virtuosa, about if George Bush is a racist, and if racism is a part of this war. I'm not sure. I don't know the guy personally. My guess was that if it was the white voters that could possibly stand in his way on his Journey To The Center Of The Oil, he would have found a way to stop them from voting. I think skin color comes second. Her comment was, if it isn't skin color, why hasn't the US declared war on Norway? We agreed upon the possibility of a third world war, which is not that good for oil business. Many smaller wars are probably more profitable. Not sure if they had voted for the guy again if they were being bombed by Europe. What do you think? Our discussions went to hell, basically. At least she kept asking me if I heard myself talking. I take it as a sign that she doesn't agree. Or that she is offended by my stupidity. That wouldn't be the first time. What are friends for. Over here in Europe we are giggling over the comments of different "experts". Some of those are on gay marriages. One commented that statistics from Denmark proove that allowing gay marriages equals certain death of matrimony. To support this theory, they use numbers over births out of wedlock. It is true that Danmark has allowed gay marriages. It is true that Denmark has a high rate of births out of wedlock. There is no connection between those two statements. Gay marriages have nothing to say about the institution of marriage, other than, more gay people are getting married. In Denmark people have kids first, get married later. Or drop it and live together happily ever after, with their kids. Danes are fine with this development. When in Rome ... Europe has been used as an example of a continent gone wrong with their values all out of place. Someone said to vote for Bush or else the US would end in the same terrible state Europe is in. Yeah, I can see all going to hell on our side. We are all unwed, exept the gay people. Meanwhile, the American nation has defended the freedom of mankind. I feel really safe and free. Thank you Always. posted by Skotta | 1:44 AM | Wednesday, November 03, 2004 Got the news yet? It's a sad, sad, day. posted by Skotta | 7:21 PM | |
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