Welcome to Skottustelpa's page of fun and games. Skottustelpa is amazing, beautiful and incredibly talented. Everyone loves Skottustelpa. Go, Skottustelpa, go!
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| Skottustelpa, The Continuing Saga Welcome to Skottustelpa's page of fun and games. Skottustelpa is amazing, beautiful and incredibly talented. Everyone loves Skottustelpa. Go, Skottustelpa, go! |
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Saturday, September 30, 2006 I am going to be famous for being one of those last with the news. I have made three attempts to write this post. Here goes:  It is clear that Hilary has a problem. Giuliani is on an official visit in Iceland where he told that he didn't rule out running for president in the 2008 elections. Now, I would have to say, that if anyone could turn a Democrat it would be Giuliani. NY would at least have a problem not voting for the guy. He is hard to resist although controversial. For those who don't know, Giuliani is responsible for the Manhattan clean-up. Giuliani was also there for the New Yorkers on 9/11. He did everything right where Bush went wrong that day and it means a lot to the American public. He is definetly loved by many. Hell, I'd vote for him. He'd make a better president than most other possible candidates. I bet he wouldn't spend a lot of time on vacation ... It is a shame really. Not that I thought America was ready for a female president. Maybe I am too far away to be able to make a realistic opinion but if you asked me, I'd have wanted to see Madeleine Albright as president. I wonder if she's too old now. Hilary is far to well known as "the wife of ..." and not many know what she has accomplished as a congressman. She definetly has a tough time ahead of her if she is up against Rudy. Hilary is known for, amongst other things, having run one of the most expensive campaigns in history when she ran for congress. I dread to se how much money she's willing to shoot off for the Oval Office. Probably about a hospital or two. posted by Skotta | 1:55 PM | Wednesday, September 27, 2006 Tonight's movie was The Aristocrats.  If you can catch this one you should try and see it. For a documentary it is really entertaining. No offence to documentaries. It leaves my otherwise ever so holy brain empty of pure and shiny thoughts. Something all of us who want to be a forever love-thy-neighbour-and-their-neighbour-and-everyone-else-in-the-universe need once in a while. Oh, it's nice to be evil. Man, this movie is pure wickedness for my soul and it reminds me that everyone, no matter how nice on the outside, has this evil spark inside that needs to be nourished once in a while for life to be bearable. I have a feeling that this is the healing nature of my friends "Honesty Kitchen". Yes, I too have a place where you can say anything outloud. I go there once in a while when I have been good for a long time and barf. Not her living room. It's not always planned but sometimes just a "let's move into the kitchen" in the middle of the conversation. In there I am evil and can say the nastiest shit about the world. Mmmm, makes me feel all clean afterwards. Go rent this movie. Then be ready for Borat in America when he comes out on film. Here's the trailer. It will make you feel good, even better than The Aristocrats. posted by Skotta | 11:06 PM | Being a stay-at-home-mom is a privilege and an honor. So since I have had the honor to be puked upon a number of times and the privilege of being shat sprayed (it's a long story involving prunes and a little boy who loves doing his thing as soon as the diaper is off) ... I rented three movies tonight. I also bought a shit load of candy. I have no shame. posted by Skotta | 9:09 PM | Monday, September 25, 2006  Baby food. Can't beat carrot. Carrot is very popular. Carrot and mashed potatoes. Do you know what color the baby turns when it eats a lot of this carrot stuff? We are talking inside out. In America you can get yummy stuff in baby jars, like sweet potato and squash and corn and cherry and blueberry. You can't get that here. Here they have about 4 things for the 4 months and up and then stuff like lasagne and stuff for the older. Ummm, yummy, mashed lasagne. Not. Whatever. There are riots in the streets. A peaceful demonstration that went haywire. That's what you get when the average age of the participants is 16. It's all the police's fault. Hard to buy when the average age of the participants is 16, throws bricks and brakes glass, spraypaints the walls and the windows, and lights fires. No, I'm sure it was the police that started it. Poor kids, the average age is 16 so nobody will believe them anyways. What else is new in the world? Denmark is one of the biggest biking nations in the world. Everyone has a bicycle, if not more than one. This is one of the main characteristics of the Dane. And that he smokes. Icelanders are generally anti-smoking and they have 2 1/2 car per head. Logically, in Iceland, by law, smoking is prohibited in all indoor public places (apart from a few bars) and in the workplace, and around children. Likewise, by law, you have to wear a helmet when biking (with all those cars and no bike lanes, the likelyhood of getting a head injury is large). In Denmark, until recently, smoking was allowed in kindergarten around kids. You can still find schools where they have ashtrays on every table in the office. Smoking is allowed in airports and most workplaces allow smoking around non-smokers. Cancer is a national illness ... I've been there before on this page. And in spite of scary numbers of head injuries after bike accidents, most politicians are against making the safety feature called helmet mandatory. Reason: They haven't made a decent looking helmet yet. posted by Skotta | 2:32 PM | Saturday, September 23, 2006 For those who are following, I just got the news that my girl in New York had a girl. They mailed out photos and she is beautiful. I can't wait to meet her. Now I'm envious. I want one of each too! Actually, I want seven. I wonder if I'd make seven befor my time is up? posted by Skotta | 5:11 PM | Stuart says Look what I can do! posted by Skotta | 11:33 AM | Copenhagen International Film Festival I could do some serious name dropping here. Of course I won't. It was a lovely evening, starting in the Hotel Royal Business Lounge with food and drinks. Really good food. No complaining. We were also hungry as we were an hour and a half late. Not so unusual for AB. Very unusual for me. You see, we both agreed that it was Wednesday, Thursday morning. It wasn't. I found out it wasn't at 7:15 pm when I came home with my hungry boy and met AB, the handsom devil, in his finest. "We're going to the movies!" OMG, OMG, OMG!!! Never have I been so quick throwing my dress on, and my make-up. Or to throw my baby into the arms of someone else. (this is where I save my draft, go to the baby, come back to my draft, write a lot more, and my computer freezes on me. SHITE!) To make a long story short (and this probably a more interesing post): We skipped the speeches and hung out at the Hotel Imperial bar instead where I ruthlessly flirted with AB. Then I got popcorn and coke and my evening was made. I was at the movies. Wanna know about the movie? It was The Director of it All. Danish comedy. Or is it? Trier can't make comedy, he can make satire. He can make art and art, when it is funny art, doesn't make you go "haha funny", but "ha ha funny, but why does it make me feel weird?" Well, the Danes are going to think he is making fun of them, solely by calling it a comedy. Leaves you with an after-thought. Who want's to see a funny movie with an after-thought? Not the Danes. Exept a maybe a few. The script is a familier Trier script: Who has the power? Is someone being exploited? Am I being exploited? Do I have the power? No, shit, I don't have the power? To hell with it, I'm taking the power, let's shoot them all! Ego wins. Art rules in it's idiocracy. Like my friend Stuart from Mad TV says: "Look what I can do!" I can't leave this post without mentioning the thing that makes the movie interesting for me, in more than one way. Automavision. Automavision is a mathematical formula that rules where the camera shoots. No Director of Photography. The camera man is just a guy who puts the film in the camera. Don't worry if you are a foreigner and don't get the Danish humor or Triers attempt to humor or not to humor his public. The movie is beautiful and thus totally worth seeing. You find yourself looking at the man who is speaking even though you are looking at only half his cheek and his right ear at the left edge of the screen. It makes beautiful frames and it keeps the movie alive and interesting to look at. The film is then edited by Dogma rules and there is no color grading so the outcome is really beautiful. The critics are going to hate it. Oh, an yes, of course. There are two Icelanders in it. And the translation of the Icelandic text is really well done. I don't know who wrote it but I think it is one of the actors, Benedikt Erlingsson. He was excellent. Go see this movie when it comes out. To be honest, you could rent it at Block Buster if it wasn't for the Automavision that just has to be seen on a big screen. posted by Skotta | 10:23 AM | Wednesday, September 20, 2006 1 liter = 33.8140226 US fluid ounces That is the amount my boy can eat in a day. He doesn't always but if I was solely breastfeeding, this is what I should be producing. They say Icelandic kids are the biggest in the world. Mine is only half Icelandic but I have a feeling he is eating for two Icelandic. posted by Skotta | 12:28 AM | Tuesday, September 19, 2006 We have a situation. Boy pukes less but pukes handsomly. Nothing is coming out of the other end. I am calling it the Prune Situation. posted by Skotta | 9:33 PM | Monday, September 18, 2006 My Japanese friend had a baby girl today. She was tiny. My boy is a giant. He has though thrown up on me 5 times today. 5 tops and a pair of pants and a skirt. Twice on the pants. My laundry basket is now full. I am to leave the house in half an hour and I don't want to come near him in case he pukes on me again. I filled the ever hungry little thing with a lot of milk and now he is digesting. Just lay still baby. Mommy doesn't want to hold you, she has got her last set of clothes on. And I just read two pages written by women who had their babies ages ago and now have a life again with political wiews and jobs and stuff. And I feel they write more interesting stuff than me. A friend of mine called what I am experiencing "Poor me ... poor me ... pour me a drink." posted by Skotta | 6:19 PM | I just want to say this: I have repeatedly tried to write a post, lost three drafts already. I am praying this will make it through. You see, my computer is aging and the darned thing keeps freezing on me. I have made AB make a copy of all photos in the computer to make sure if the thing dies on me completely, the first pics of my boy are safe. Anywho. Got an email that went something like, REFUSE TO HAVE BABY TIL YOU BLOG!!!!! You have to respect that. And I have been trying like crazy so if this makes it through, just so you know lady, you are going into labour. So here are the family news: Introducing porridge. My boy ate with a spoon for the first time a couple of days ago. Like he never did anything else. He likes the porridge from the packs and refused to eat a perfectly good banana. Mommy hasn't got the "food introductory technique" down yet but so far so good. I will disquise the banana as porridge tomorrow. Boy is generally becoming more willful. He has developed more skills now like sliding his body out of ones arms and sliding his body out of the car seat, thus creating numerous uncomfortable situations. He gets really angry and one of his most hateful things in the world, apart from the obvious car seat, is sleeves. Having arms put into sleeves causes strong wriggling about and attempts to slide off somewhere. He is a big strong boy and he eats double of what they start them off with porridge-wise. On the mommy side, the main news are that I put my pants on (litterally) yesterday. Saying that I fit my pants would be an overstatement, but I buttoned them up and wore them for a day without considerable breething difficulties. See?! There is a life after childbirth. posted by Skotta | 12:00 AM | Monday, September 11, 2006 September 11th is coming. It is a big day. I am going to start exercising. I wonder if my girl in NY has had her baby yet or if it will be born on September 11th. I haven't been able to call her. Time difference is playing with me so I am a total failure in this case. I'll call her tomorrow. I have had an eventful weekend. Went to AB's mothers house Friday eve as he was in Germany giving a lecture on his work for a bunch of scientists and historians. Among other things, he learned about this woman. I told him when he came home that she is Icelandic and taught me video in art school. She is probably one of Iceland's most famous people although very few Icelanders actually know of her. Ces't la vie. Me and AB's mom decided to go powershopping for the boy (who needs a psydoname for this website, anyone?). He now has everything he in the next size he'll be needing. Growing boy. Funny how that works. You need new pair of pants once in a while but needing a complete wardrobe is something else. Quite fun actually. Not that I don't need a whole wardrobe in my current size. I just decided that it was cheaper to change my size than buying a complete wardrobe. Not as much fun actually. Well, better get off to bed. It is the middle of the night. The only reason I am awake is because we looked at a nice apartment today and we are going to look at more nice apartments over the next few weeks. We just got another estimate on AB's apartment and it was a bit higher than we espected. That is our ticket out of here so off we go. Those are our preferences for our new apartment: A bathtub and a little spot for a cherry tree. Did I tell you that our boy got a cherry tree as a baptizm gift?  We are looking for an apartment with a little garden so we can plant his cherry tree. So far, the ones with a little garden are more expensive and we can't afford them. On the other hand, cherry trees grow big and we don't want anyone messing with his tree. Dilema. Change is good and I am looking forward to it. I have a really nice feeling about these coming times. A lot of good things will happen both workwise and for our little family. I can just feel it. I know these things. Ask anyone who knows me. Oh, yeah, and the child is now declared an official Handbag Baby. You know, like an handbag, easy to take with when you go shopping. He enjoyed yet another shopping mall with his mother this weekend and did so with grace, charming every person who showed him attention. A lady in the elevator shouted out "Oh, there is my little friend again!". He has this way of smiling, you see. Ask anyone who knows him. posted by Skotta | 1:53 AM | Wednesday, September 06, 2006 I found them!!! Okay, lets just say I have spent a little more than normal amount on YouTube today. It payed off though. Here you have Lida and Melina in one of my favorite sketches. It looks like Bunifa Katisha Latisha Parisha Farisha Johnson sprung from the Melina character. At least they are related. Genious. posted by Skotta | 7:45 PM | AB called me from McDonalds today where he was buying a late lunch. Told me he was working late. I wonder if this is because I decided we should become a healthy family and serve cod with vegetables tonight? posted by Skotta | 7:43 PM | -What's this accent? Is it because he's half Danish? -No. His mother had her mouth full of caramels ... posted by Skotta | 4:31 PM | Tuesday, September 05, 2006 One of my favorite things about being a mom is ... putting my boy into his favorite chair and watching his little face go all funny as he does his thing. Then he goes all grumpy and does the Elvis Pelvis move because it's uncomfortable to sit on all the stuff in the diaper. You knew this about me, didn't you? posted by Skotta | 2:46 PM | Meet my Nova Vision Color Video Baby Call  I think it does more than watching the baby. I think it hypnotizes the baby. "Here baby, look into this big eye ... You are very sleepy now ..." At least my baby is doing fine being home. He eats like a horse and sleeps a lot. Like a baby horse. Pony. He eats, he plays, he sleeps. And he smiles. I want to start going to the gym again. I haven't lost the waight I gained after giving birth. Some women gain weight being pregnant, I gained after I gave birth. Visiting my country of origin, with all the yummy food and candy that includes, and then being constantly tired and hungry during those months of travelling while breast feeding, left me quite as big as I was while pregnant. Now with no baby inside. So, I'm going to the gym. I then had this problem, you see, with the candy I bought in Iceland. Is this candy meant to be a treat, like, get one candy after each trip to the gym? Maybe a bag of candy on a Saturday? I don't have this problem now. I decided it was safest to just eat all the candy now. I am therefor now sitting with a cup of Morning Thunder tea out of my Big Bad Mother cup and eating Gou Kulur. And I have aquired the same knowledge as my friend who once ate a lot of Starburst ... if you eat a lot of Skittles you start sweating from all the coloring. I can see on my little screen that the boy is awake now outside. Wanna make a bet if I can finish my tea before he starts complaining? posted by Skotta | 1:59 PM | Sunday, September 03, 2006  Home at last. Home, home, home. I am not going anywhere for a loooooong time. I'm not leaving my house. I have the most beautiful baby in the world. He smiles all the time. Happy camper. He doesn't recognize his home but he pics up mother's chill out mood so he is cool with it. So many things have happened since last time I posted. A friend passed away. Dearest cousin got married. Another cousin gave birth. The wedding was a blast. If I wasn't breast feeding I would have danced all night. Well. We also left because we were trashed from the day before. We had allmost two weeks in Bornholm before taking the over night ferry to Koge again. We slept about an hour each, drove home to Copenhagen where I packed and did laundry befor driving off to the airport. We arrived midnight, Icelandic time. Drove out to Borgarfjordur to the wedding, drove home in the middle of the night, drove to the summerhouse in Laugarvatn the day after. AB had to go home to work on the 30th, I came alone with the baby yesterday. I am tired but all in all the trip was good. Baby behaved the whole way across it's 4th trip across the Atlantic. He is only 4 months old. I was 14 before I stepped on a plane. Still the trip was a bit tireing as I had to carry him and the diaper bag everywhere. Lucky us went from Gate 15 in Keflavik airport, which means no place to sit in the waiting room, stairs down from the terminal building to the ground, hang out in a waiting room, again no place to sit, before walking out to the plane and up wobbly stairs to enter the maschine. All carrying a baby in a car seat and a diaper bag that is heavy as hell. Baby and car seat don't weigh that much separately but somehow, when put together, this assembly weighs a ton. The flight was delayed because they had to trow three drunks off the plane. One of them sat next to me so I was thrilled. I got a whole row to myself after the alcohol soaked lady and the stinky men in front of us were off the plane. One of them proudly declared that he had 8 kids and that his daughter had a turned 8 years old the day before. He couldn't remember her name though, gave us two different versions. I am so grateful that my parenting skills are a wee bit more developed than that guy's. We were a very happy little family when the three of us met up again in Kastrup airport. AB looked quitle handsom and sexy with the boy hangin in his beard while telling me about his eye infection. Romance can take all shapes and sizes. While I was away I got this link in the mail from a friend. I don't quite know what to make of it but there are very funny bits in there. Like this one. And last, but not least, another bit of news. My girl in New York was on her way to give birth last time we spoke. I didn't call her last night due to the time difference but I am calling her today. I'll keep you posted. posted by Skotta | 9:55 AM | |
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